Okay, so I was scrolling through the Miami mom blog last night while Dave was snoring next to me (he claims he was just “resting his eyes”), and I stumbled on this post that made me laugh so hard I almost dropped my phone on my face. This woman and her husband tried swinging. In Vegas. Yes, like that swinging.
First of all, bless her for writing about it because I would have taken that secret to the grave. Second, I’m pretty sure if I even suggested something like that to Dave, he’d choke on his sweet tea and start Googling “nearest urgent care.”
The way she told the story had me cackling. They were all, “We’re in Vegas, let’s try something wild!” Meanwhile, the wildest thing I’ve done in the last six months was eat half a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in the school pickup line and then pretend my tongue wasn’t on fire when Patrick asked for one.
What got me was how normal she made it sound — like, yep, we met a couple, went to a swingers club, gave it a shot, and came home high-fiving like they’d just won a cornhole tournament. I was reading it like… girl, my husband and I can’t even agree on what to watch on Netflix without it turning into a hostage negotiation.
Blanca wandered into the room while I was still laughing about it, asking why I was giggling at my phone, and I had to scramble to say I found a “funny cooking recipe.” (Note to self: do not let my kids ever read Miami mom blogs until they’re at least 30.)
Anyway, if you need a laugh and maybe a reminder that some moms out there are way braver (or crazier?) than me, go read her story. Just don’t blame me if you end up side-eyeing your husband for the rest of the night wondering what he’d say if you casually whispered “swingers club?” while he’s buttering his toast.
And me? I’ll stick with my cozy chaos over here in Tampa — mismatched socks, soccer practice, and all. Our idea of wild is letting the kids stay up past bedtime on a school night. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for Vegas or anything else.